My mom asked me to make cupcakes, so assuming they were for my family, I iced them white with supernatural-themed red demon traps and blood spatter and some of them even had Lucifer written in calligraphy-ish font.
But then I found out that the cupcakes are for a church bake sale.
Do you see how this might be an issue?
you’re my hero
I would suggest starting to consume cupcakes at an unnatural speed.
(via poprocksandkate)
i was checking out at target and this guy was being really flirty with me and his nametag said rosemarie so when i left i said “have a good night rosemarie” and he said “rosemarie??” and i pointed to his nametag and he said fuck very loud then said “they are always fucking doing this to me”
(via imjustfallinginreverse)
sometimes my twelve year old little sister will go on club penguin and trick a bunch of girls that she’s a guy and she’ll make them think they’re dating and then she’ll have them all meet her in the same place at the same time and watch them get into catfights about who’s boyfriend she is and thats how my little sister became a cross-dressing evil mastermind pimp on club penguin
(Source: knightpecutie, via thnksfrthhtus)
When I wish he would text me
Me: I wonder if he’s thinking of me
Me: …or if he’s with her
(phone goes off)
Me: holly shit it’s him!
Me: he knows!
Me: he’s gunna remind me of how much he hates me..
Me: I don’t wanna look at the phone anymore
Me: don’t be a baby
Me: grow some balls
(looks at the screen)
Me: damn it mom
